Fifty-Five
I have always rejoiced in my aging but this year I feel it. The scale has tipped. There are less years ahead than behind, so I am choosing to look at this past one as a threshold. An appropriately quiet year, it became a time of cleansing, a time of meditation, a time of preparation for this next chapter in life. Age has come so quickly. Although now, I imagine a small somewhat feral child in my heart. She is loose and free and can’t sit still. She wants to light it all up, and dance all over God’s creation. She is beautiful with long messy dark hair and a gorgeous dress of many colors. She is not inhibited by the ways of the world and only knows the longing of the heart. She missed the lessons bestowed on girls like me by their mothers. How lucky…how free. I wonder if the ever present ache in my heart all these years has been her.
“Let me out. Let me show you what your are really made of. Let me show you all the magic of your time here.”
I think I misunderstood that ache to be romantic longing. But now, I think it is the wild, caged by good manners and the historic expectation of girls. I think she has been weeping for me. My wild has been weeping. The love affair is my own. I am setting out on a quest to set her free. I am eager to learn and unlearn all I think I know how to be. I will go armed with these (un)lessons as a framework. Join me or take any of these notes for yourself - Here is the wisdom of 55.
The best way around a wall may often be over. Trust that you have wings to help you soar, that is where you are meant to be.
Don’t waste a moment of love and friendship. Not one.
Rekindle your love affair with nature.
Love someone, don’t do it for the prizes or reciprocation. Do it because you love.
Scorpions are always scorpions.
The voice inside is always right.
Look back and acknowledge your own mistakes. See how they played a part in your story.
Forgive yourself.
Pizza is an answer.
Puppies rule.
The highest prayer is gratitude….
Celebrate everything you possibly can.
Set the table. Somehow it has become a thing people feel unworthy of.
Communicate.
“Run into the roar, go where you fear to go.”
I see this one so clearly. Now that the clutter and false identity has been cleared away. I hear the roar and wonder what it would be to run into the darkness.
What better part of me is waiting on the other side?
If I’m going to drink, Clase Azul Reposado is for me. It brings back memories of friendship, gritty places and hot sunsets on the beach in Mexico. One sip and I am there.
If it’s not working, do the opposite.
Simplify.
“Sit with your hatred until you feel the fear beneath it. Sit with your fear until you feel the compassion beneath that” -Akuppa
Everything I have experienced, everything I know….is future empathy for others.
There is no time for small.
Be hot for yourself.
Sun glistening on snow in the woods will always be magic.
Keep believing in Santa.
If you see a girl in a dress of many colors running down your street say hello, dance along or let her be. You never know it may just finally be me.