Year Two

I spent last year quiet, like I was run out of words once more. The year seemed to speak for itself. I intend on spending this year learning. It almost feels like a long meditation. Year one I was shocked, I grieved, I celebrated, I baked, I hiked, I played with my dog, and I survived, like everyone else.

Year two feels like time to dig deeper into soul. I have no control of the future. No understanding really of the whys of the past. Just that they were, or are not yet. There is a quiet inside that lacks narration. I think I have found the bargain with my being that brings me peace. I have nothing and everything all at the same time. Maybe the lesson has always been, just be present today. The rest is a story you tell that is only as real as your memory or imagination. I find most memory happy with a side order of grief. But grief is a textured fabric that helps me understand humanity. It takes me right to love and how to love more deeply, more empathetically, more radically…..so back to happy once more. Look at love, just daring me……

I don’t want to live forever, I have places to be, but I don’t want to miss this moment. The moment is forever. I do rather like the idea that we may be co-creators in God’s story, healing the old wounds of our humanity, seeking to salve our longings, AND ALSO the glorious child soaking in the magic of being alive. I, we, are both Geppetto and the boy. But the boy! Oh the boy really lived. Maybe I will just be the boy.