Spring At The Gate
Today is my mothers birthday. Dad used to buy her cakes with large frosting roses on top and I always asked for a flower. I admittedly love frosting more than cake. I however, never got one of those cakes for my birthday, they were reserved just for her. Yesterday I drove to visit Mom and take her some things from the house. Since her doll suitcase did not fit many clothes or rather - none at all, I brought some things for springtime. I brought some favorite photos for the wall and a painting of hummingbirds her best friend did before she died. It always had a place of prominence in the kitchen and I thought it would look nice over her bed. I had visions of a gallery wall of photos and a place in mind for the prayer shawl the homemakers group had knit her when Dad passed. This is what I had in mind………….when I walked in I noticed all her other pictures were gone. All the little figurines were not on display and her wedding album was not on the nightstand. Had her room just been cleaned? I brought out the things to show her and talked about how nice they would look on the wall when she mentioned that Dad was coming to pick her up this evening so we better not hang those up. She was leaving… Here is the thing. You can always go visit an Alzheimers patient with a plan but……… I stood speechless as I was not sure what was best to say…I know she talks to Dad so maybe they did have a plan. I don’t want to discount that. This of coarse meant that she was leaving me behind and I was not so sure I was ready for that either.
”Well, Lets see what happens, and if he can’t make it we will hang them when I come back next time and then we will go out for tea.”
I leaned the pictures on the wall and quietly hung up the cloths while she gleefully looked through some of the new photos I brought. Maybe if I sneak them onto hangers she won’t notice. As I hung the blouses I noticed her little suitcase in the closet…….hmmmmmm…..I opened it. There inside were all her most valuable possessions. She had packed. She was indeed ready to go. It was funny that on the heals of returning from cleaning out her home I see that the best of the best fit in her doll suitcase. That was the ultimate size of happiness. What fits in your heart with a little spill over to a Chrissy doll case. As I quietly redistributed things to the shelves she suddenly stood up and twirled around pointing to all the photos now back in their place, “See! Family family family!” I saw. I deeply saw.
I let her know that it was her birthday and I wanted to take her for ice cream. She grew up going to Friendly’s and it was her mothers favorite spot so I thought that would be perfect.The best part seemed to be the off key solo that the waitress enthusiastically sang. I do mean enthusiastically, like deeply committed to the song, and my mom loved it. Joy gets simpler and simpler as time goes on.
So that is it. I have deeper thoughts but something big is coming. I drove Mom home and she wanted me to sleep over. I promised to come back very soon and we made a date. She said, ultimately she just loved the togetherness. I have no idea if Dad is coming to pick her up soon. If he does we will have had tea and her bag is packed……….and we are still waiting at the garden gate.